A Conversation with Joomla (by a friend, Steve B.)

Steve: Hey Joomla, I want to build a website in you.
Joomla: All right, here are the things you need to give me...
Steve: If it's all the same to you, I'll just stick with the design and functionality the client asked for.
Joomla: I'm afraid that's not going to fly. You need this website to be good right?
Steve: Well, yeah and I know exactly how I want to build it. I don't really want it to use most of these things that come preinstalled in you.
Joomla: Well, you should have thought of that before you became a web designer. Your site's got to have this, this and this, or it's not a real fucking website.
Steve: Calm down, Joomla, let's talk this over. I don't really need these things. They're kind of just complicating the functionality.
Joomla: Oh, so my functionality's too complicated for you, is that it?
Steve: What? Why can't we just build a website?
Joomla: Listen, bitch. I've been doing this a lot longer than you. I'm telling you if it doesn't fit these parameters, your website's gonna suck. Now who do you want to listen to? Your client and the site she's paying you to build, or the CMS that's been getting things done the same way in every site for years?
Steve: MODx never called me a bitch.
Joomla: Oh, so now the truth comes out! Why don't just you just run back to your little whore MODx and leave me alone!
Steve: Because the client already had you installed and they only paid me $300. I.E. not enough to bother setting up a content management system that actually makes it easier to MANAGE MY FUCKING CONTENT!
Joomla: Ooh. Ooh that's cold.
Steve: Yeah, that's cold, but we're stuck with each other, so shut the fuck up and do what I say.
Joomla: I don't think so. This is my house, bitch. You can build the website I want or you can go home.
Steve: I swear, I hate you so much.
Joomla: Go fuck yourself. And give me the damn site structure I asked for in the first place.
Steve: I am so ignoring you right now.
blog comments powered by Disqus